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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
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Question: Hubby wants more and I feel uncomfortable about myself

Dear Lounge Advice,
I am new to lifestyle. In fact I wasn't sure I wanted to swing at all, but after a holiday at an erotic resort, I decided to give it a try. I loved the attention I got on holiday and the way it made me feel so sexy and attractive. Understandably, online dating is a little harder.
My problem is that although I am very physically fit, I have struggled for years to lose that last 10 pounds, and I get quite sensitive about my body image.
My husband tends to "help" by asking me what I ate today and whether I exercised and expressing surprise and concern that I am so unsuccessful in achieving my weight goal.
The women we have been with have all been big busted bone racks, and now when he makes comments I can't seem to let them go anymore. For this reason, I decided I should leave the swinging scene until I sort myself out.
He was very good about not trying to pursuade me to change my mind but decided to let me in on his decades long held belief that I am "letting him down by not looking after his sexual needs when I have my period". Of course this is an unrelated issue, but it made me feel very angry and betrayed that he would suggest that I had failed at a basic sexual given. I have for the record limited my off days to 20 days per year, and I understand he was really just asking for more head (and what guy doesn't want that?) but I am pissed at the way he decided to discuss this.
So, was I right to take leave until I get my body image sorted out?
And do all good wives give outrageous head during their menstrual flow?



Dear (Anonymous),

Grrrrr! This makes me so angry.
No, most wives, from my experience, let their mestrual period pass by without feeling obligated to service their husbands. If he's feeling that much in need while you're on your period, then he can service himself. You shouldn't feel obligated to look after his sexual needs when you have to go through a woman's curse.
If some @#^@#@ men knew what women had to go through, they'd keep their mouths shut. Okay, I normally try not to throw my personal feelings too much into my advice, but I couldn't help myself.
Plus, if he was feeling so neglected during your time of the month, why is he just letting this information out now?
If you're sensitive about your body, you have the right idea. Back away from the lifestyle until you feel more comfortable with yourself. Your confidence is the most important thing- without it, you will only deal with more insecurities, which will lead to issues that are bound to tear at your marriage.
He is truly lucky that you're open to giving the lifestyle a try. If he continues to whine, I can say this as a woman too- he woould get much less than he's currently getting. That will give him something to whine about.
I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but I really feel that you need to look after yourself and he should feel grateful for what he does have. Many men wouldn't even get to experience half of what he has.
Keep your head up beautiful! (and I really don't mean that literally *wink*)
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