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Question: Should we talk to them about our concerns?

Dear Lounge Advice,

We are a soft swap couple, new to this. We met a couple that we enjoyed dinner with, talking, and we all decided to play. During play, the male of the other couple attempted to wanted to penatrate me - without any protection no less. I said "no' and he did not push it.

But, since then, I no longer feel comfortable playing with them. For we are not full swap (at least not yet) and two - I think they prefer full swap and are actively swapping with others without using any protection. Finally, they have told us that they have been with other couples that we know by name.

All of this has made us not want to play with them again. In addition, one of the couples that they say they have played with is also interested in us, but now, we are concerned that they too don't use protection and may be 'a risk'. So, we are not sure we should pursue anything with them either.

Yet we would like to be 'freinds' or acquaintances.

We are not sure how to go about responding to the couple now. Should we have a drink and discuss it openly. Should we politely make up excuses of being too busy.

Should we meet with the other couple whom they have played with and discuss our concerns about protection...or just leave it alone. Either way, does not seem as if we will be very successful in delicately resolving it.

Do you have any suggestions or advice for us?

Uncertain of Etiquette



Dear (Anonymous),

I think that you should open up to the couple in question. This way, you won't have to go about awkward avoidances and make constant excuses to avoid them. If you avoid and elude them, they will tell others that you are 'flaky' which ruins your chances to meet people you are interested in.
Be candid. They will probably appreciate your honesty.
With the others that are their friends, you can still meet them with play in mind. Just be up front about your protection preferences if playtime talk does arise.
This way, you can still go out and have fun while being honest about what you want. This will earn you more respect in the end.
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