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Question: How to find out if vanillas are interested in the lifestyle

Dear Lounge Advice,

What's the best way to find out if "vanilla" friends might be interested in the lifestyle?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Bring it up in jest. Make up something like this:

"We think we have swingers in our neighborhood. We notice that almost every Saturday night, they have lots of cars coming to their house and staying late into the evening. We always see really good looking people coming out of the cars."

Gauge their reaction to that. Then, depending on their reaction, you can go further.

"My partner and I watch this every weekend and wonder what it is like in there."

Keep taking baby steps in the conversation from there. You can tell by their reactions how they stand on this subject. Wouldn't hurt to discuss this after a couple of cocktails so the subject doesn't stiffen them up when they're completely sober.

Don't listen to their words so much as their body language and other telltale signs. People are conditioned to display 'shock' at this subject, so it may come out as a verbal statement that communications a sense of being taken aback at the idea, but their body language may betray their words.
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