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Question: He pressure me too much to go further

Dear Lounge Advice,
HELP!!! I feel pressure from my significant other to "play" more than I am comfortable with. We have only hooked up 3 different times in a year. That is fine with me, but he wants more and I don't. He is addicted to this lifestyle, in fact, we may not last if we close our account. (that is how much it means to him) How do I handle this? Every time we talk about it, we seem to argue more and he "attacks" me and makes me feel guilty for not "giving in". I am also not bi-sexual AT ALL, so I need to make sure I am attracted to the man before playing, and that is why we have only played 3 times. Other than the "lifestyle" part, our relationship is perfect, how do I compromise with him?



Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

The compromise is already in place, I'm afraid. You partake in the lifestyle only to the extent to which you're confortable, and no more. He is lucky enough to have a woman who partakes in this lifestyle at all.
You may be want to remind him of this. He's damn lucky you aren't like many women who wouldn't even dream of allowing this LS into their relationship. This lifestyle is about BOTH people, not just him.
You need to have a VERY firm hand here. Tell him that if it means that much to him to play around that he needs to apply constant pressure on you to go further, then he'd be better off without you.
I'm sure he'll go really far in this lifestyle as a single male. Not.
Do NOT, and I cannot stress this enough, do NOT do anything more than what you're comfortable with. Let him know that it will be this way, or you can both remove yourselves from the lifestyle entirely.
This is the point (and this is just MY style) where I would test the foundation of the relationship. I would remove the profile entirely and demand that I wanted out of the lifestyle until I felt that the two of us actually meant something together-without the lifestyle entering the equation. If he can't handle that, then the 'perfect' aspect of your relationship isn't as such. If your relationship is perfect as you claim, then closing your account shouldn't put in peril.
If he needs to do this, then he doesn't have his priorities straight, and he needs to know that continuing this behavior will lose you. He can kiss all of it goodbye if he loses you.
BE FIRM and do NOT let him muscle more out of you.
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