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Question: Amxious about trying out a swing club

Dear Lounge Advice,
My Partner has dabbled in the lifestyle with previous girlfriends but I have never been to a club or threesomes etc. I really want to check out a club and give him what he wants. How do I get over the anxiety to get up the courage to check out one of these places




Dear (Anonymous),

The best way to overcome this is just to talk to your partner about it. Let him explain what it's like to you and reassure you that it's nothing to worry excessively over. Set the limits with him and let him know what you do or do not want. If you just want to go and watch, let him know that even if an opportunity arises, you're not there for that, especially on your first visit. You set the limits and dictate where this goes.
I think that have some control over the course of events will make you breathe easier. Also, let me assure you that swing clubs aren't much different than regular nightclubs. In fact, I've found them to be much more respectful in terms of being approached. In regular nightclubs, one usually has to deal with random guys just being obnoxious in there pickup techniques, making it a nonstop meatmarket. I enjoy swing clubs because people usually have unspoken rules of courtesy and you won't have to worry about being advanced on in an unwelcome manner.
Just don't let you imagination get carried away. The clubs are much more 'normal' than you're probably thinking.
One last word of advice: You mentioned that you're trying to 'give him what he wants'. Do this for yourself. Someone should never do this just to satisfy a mate. If you end up not being favorable to the lifestyle in the long run, stay away and let him know how you're feeling. Don't ever go along with the ride to satisfy a partner.
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