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Question: Is it rude to rule out non V-safe individuals for play?

Dear Lounge Advice,

We're pretty new to the lifestyle and are feeling our way though what's viewed as normal and what's not so please bear with us.

Our concern is that she is not on BC and we don't want any chance of unwanted pregnancy. For personal reasons she isn't planning on going back on the pill. I have gone though the old snip-snip and our other play partner has too.

We believe in using condoms to be safe from VD, but we all know that they have their faults. We were wondering if it's common for other men in the lifestyle to get the big V? Also, is it considered rude to rule people out who have not had the procedure?

We know that we're playing with fire to a certain extent which is why we've been taking things very slow to play with other new people.

Mr and Mrs Newbie



Dear (Anonymous),

I know a handful of men who have had a vasectomy, but normally it's not done for lifestyle safety, but for personal reasons.
It's definitely not rude to rule out those who aren't V safe if that's your preference.
It's a very valid concern that you have. I have been in a position in the past where I wasn't on birth control and I got pregnant by another man while swinging. So stick to your guns and play it safe. Afterall, it's your life and nobody else's.
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