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Question: Another couple is telling others we don't play

Dear Lounge Advice,

We are very,very new to the lifestyle and honestly have not yet had our first complete experience. We have attended 1 party that went well. We will be going to Danbury and are hoping to 'play" with a couple we have been in contact with for a few monhts now. We are nervous and excited all at the same time. They are also willing to take it slow with us as they too are new to the lifestyle. So we've agreed to let things happen if they happen.

Here is the problem. One of the members on the LL has told them to stay away from us because they dont think we will play. The same couple has asked us over and over again to play but we kindly say no as my Husband has NO desire to play with her at all. Is she jealous? Why would she "warn" them to stay away and not even talk with us? Please can you help?

Thanks so much!

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

That sounds like the type of couple that has the mentality of "If we can't have them, nobody should". Or, they may think that they're so irrestible that if you don't play with them, you're not likely to play with anyone. They also sound like the type of couple that just expects that everyone in the lifestyle is out to play and anything besides that makes them unworthy of being around. They don't realize that most of us have preferences and moods and won't just jump into the sack with the nearest warm bodies.
It's either ego or ignorance. Either way, other people are hopefully more grown up than this vindictive pair and can make up thier own minds about someone.

If this couple you are interested in is truly worth it, they'll ignore that and decide for themselves what to believe. If they believe the jibberish others are spewing, then at least you'll know that you shouldn't waste your time trying to be friends. Besides, they're in the same situation as you since they're quite new to it all, so I doubt they'll be a party to the gossip.

Just keep doing what you have been doing and set your own pace. Ignore the idiots.
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