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Question: Should I just bow out and let her have fun without me?

Dear Lounge Advice,
My wife just recently began playing with men ( a man,I should say). She only plays with this one individual, but it happens at least twice a week,minimum. I do play with the other wife, and I am happy with that. The problem is that I am not allowed to watch, listen, or otherwise participate in any way with my wife and her new man.This is in its third month now, and it has gotten to the point that we aren't having sex with each other any more, just with the opposite partners. I have let her know a few times now that I was hoping to experience this with her. Initially it was a comfort level thing with her and the guy, as she wasn't sure how self concious she would feel having sex in front of me, but that shouldn't be an issue any more,considering the sheer number of times they have been together. I'm getting to the point that I don't want to go with her to this couple's house anymore,because the feeling of rejection is causing me serious trouble... Should I just bow out and let her have her fun without me? She has let me have girlfriends of my own a number of times...



Dear (Anonymous),

You need to express you feelings to her. This lifestyle is about couples, and making sure the relationship is strengthened, not hindered.
You are both going in the wrong direction with this if it's starting to affect you this way.
Granted, she has allowed you to have girlfriends, but did this affect your relationship in the same way? Not having sex with each other anymore is a serious problem. If this situation is the source of the problem, it needs to be dealt with swiftly.
Suggest a compromise: You both work on your own sex life, but change your arrangements with this other couple. Perhaps instead of separate sex, you both can do same room sex with this couple and swap. This way, you can boost your feeling of security, she still gets to play without getting cutoff, and you both enjoy the lifestyle TOGETHER.
Please say something to her. If you continue to allow this to fester, the consequences will be your fault. She is YOUR wife, and right now, it doesn't seem that way.
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