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Question: He went on vacation and I caught him trying to attend a LS club

Dear Lounge Advice,


My husband and I have been enjoying this lifestyle for a couple of years. I've been very tentative to try separate play, but my husband has been trying to push it. I have set my boundaries and tell him often that it isn't that it will never happen, but I'm just not ready. I've met a lot of secure couples that do play separately and can see that happening, maybe, someday. So a few days ago he left for a vacation in Arizona to watch baseball. At about 4 oclock, I got a terrible feeling that my sweet husband was going to do something. I checked his email and saw a receipt for an on premise club and the receipt read: single male donation. He has not answered any of my calls and I'm trying to not be angry at him but damnit, he deceived me! A friend tells me I need to understand that he's a guy and this isn't about me but it is about me! The party is one that is on LL and he sent his picture to the hostess (she returned my email - very cool lady). I haven't spoken with him and just don't know what to do/say. It isn't the sex I'm mad about it is the lying.

This is a bad sign, ya think?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Very bad sign indeed. It's not enough that you're both in the lifestyle together? Most women wouldn't dream of doing this openly with their husbands.
He's lucky enough to have this, then he pulls this???
You're in control of this now. Call him on it and decide where to go from there. If this was me, I'd pull us both out of the lifestyle entirely so he could see just how his greed affected what a sweet deal he already had. Apparently, the lifestyle has clouded his judgment and he needs a wakeup call to make him realize what is truly important to him- YOU.
Put your foot down!
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