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Question: Wanting to get started but unsure of which venue to choose

Dear Lounge Advice,
My wife and I have been considering trying a Lifestyles Trip or checking out a local swingers club. We are both interested and curious but at the same time nervous. What do you recommend as a good way or place to try and see if this activity will be as enjoyable as we think? We are both open to trying things and we are anxious to get started? Please give us advise, should we try a week long vacation at Hedo III or just something local?
Thank you



Dear (Anonymous),

Perhaps the one venue that frightens many newbies is a swing club. Whether you are on a website, or you choose to visit a swingers’ establishment to seek a match, this is a surprisingly pressure-free atmosphere to do so.

Many people who have not been to one have misconceptions. They think of visions of orgies when walking in, and people trying to grope all over them. Swing clubs, when you enter, look surprisingly like regular nightclubs. If you choose to scout out a swing club for the first time, have in mind what you would like to accomplish beforehand. However, don’t be too disappointed if your aspirations aren’t met. The best goal is to go in with no aspirations except for having a great time with your partner. Then, you’re guaranteed to meet your own expectations. Also, don’t be fooled by illusions of grandeur that every member in the club will look like a Perfect 10. Most clubbers are just your average everyday folk there to let loose. You might find a handful of very attractive people, but it won’t be the majority.
clubs will give a friendly tour of the grounds. You'll witness drinking, dancing, conversation and flirting. The attire can range from regular nightclub clothes to something extremely risqué. The only difference here is that if a lady wants to get naked on the dance floor, she usually can. If it's a more liberal club, you may occasionally see some light sexual play as the night progresses. As for the hardcore, this usually takes place in special rooms away from the main area for members who choose to play on premise. There are private rooms and public rooms (usually) and if you want to explore a little more, go watch in a public room, or go have your own fun in a private room. Swing clubs aren't like regular night clubs because people tend to be much more polite, unlike regular clubs, which tend to meat-markets. The unsaid rule of a swing club is that you must ask first, ‘no’ means no and that the ladies control the action. This is almost always respected and you’ll be hard-pressed to find anyone who steps over this line. If you are a couple, try to go on a ‘couples-only’ night if you aren’t seeking a single male. Nights that aren’t directly designated as couples nights tend to attract many single males, who spend their time vying for the females’ attention. This can be uncomfortable for first-timers and experienced swingers alike if they aren’t into single males. If single males are on your menu, a Friday night at a swing club is going to be your best bet, since there will be plenty from which to choose. If you are there seeking single female, chances are usually slim. Many single ladies will not venture into a swing club on their own, and prefer to bring dates. If you are seeking a single female for fun, going to a swing club for your search will almost never be fruitful.
Hedo is a great place to be as well and can be a perfect spot for you to be in the company of like-minded couples without feeling too awkward. In essense, it's like a vacation with a twist where you can feel free to stay on the fringe and keep to yourselves so you can just watch and acclimate yourself to free-spirited atmosphere.
I'd recommend starting with a nighttime venue and taking it from there. This way, you can get a few hour's exposure- dip your toes in the water so to speak. Then, if you enjoy it, you can think about additional trips to expand your comfort zone and perhaps a vacation to Hedo if it continues to suit you.
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