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Question: Sober sex- I want to try the experience

Dear Lounge Advice, I'm going to start having "sober" sex, but I never have. Never. What if I can't orgasm when I'm sober? Will it make me start drinking again just so I can orgasm? Right now, when I masturbate, I only orgasm when it's the first thing in the morning and I'm a bit groggy...which is almost like the way I am when I'm drinking.

This concerns me because I'm struggling to be sober.




Dear (Anonymous),

If this is truly a goal of yours, you'll have to try doing this and training your mind to relax. I can't guarantee that you'll be able to climax, but you have to start somewhere. I think that you should try this out by first having sex in the dark. This way, your senses are softened and you can focus on the feeling and perhaps not feel so uptight or self-conscious.
Hopefully, you can trust your partner as well, since this will play a huge role in allowing you to relax enough to enjoy the sensation.
Don't expect this to fast or easy since you've never experienced it before. Like everything else, it will have a learning curve and will take practice and patience. If you're not patient with the process or you get easily frustrated, you will end up drinking again.
The one thing I *can* almost gaurantee is that sober orgasms are far more intense and electrifying if you can achieve them without the aid of drinking!

Good luck and I hope you can do this for yourself.
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