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Question: Upsetting or alienating a contact's partner- how to avoid

Dear Lounge Advice, during an initial greeting/ approaching/chatting on line and or contacting other members how does one best avoid ailienating or upsetting acontacts partner. A man who initiates contact with a couple for example. nothing sexist intended but would i initiate contact with my male counterpart. please inlighten me as to proper edicate.Thanks Jeff



Dear (Anonymous),

When it comes to online meetings, you don't necessatily need to ensure contact with the other male. You just need to make the contact, and whomever the communicator of that couple is will proceed.
For example, usually my husband is the one who initiates the contact (with my approval) and speaks as both of us. This way, it doesn't seem as if it is just him trying to chase the female. Also, even if it is the female who does the main communication, he makes sure to type the correspondence as if he's speaking to both of them. This way, he's also signing my name with my knowledge, AND he is typing the letter in a way that they know that they are both being 'spoken to'.
If the female is the communicator, be sure to ask questions and make mention about her hubby to show interest and respect in his preferences too.
Remember, it's always about the couple, whether you are the contacter or the contactee ;)
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