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Question: Feeling like I'm holding her back

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife is hot.... I am not. I imagine it is a common occurrence that half of a couple can be less than aesthetically pleasing which makes me wonder how many have handled it.

I feel a little guilty for my my wife because I know she can have so much more fun if I were not in the equation of play. We don't do hall passes nor does she want one. But I just can't lose the feeling that she is missing out because of me.

Is this common? How have people dealt with it?

The Fugly Half

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

She's not missing out because of you.
Look at that sentence again.
She's not missing out BECAUSE of you. She chose YOU, she loves you, so she's not missing out on diddly.
Any action that you both get is just a bonus. Obviously, if she doesn't want a hall pass, that says something huge. She's happy in the lifestyle WITH you, whether you play once a week or once a year. Have faith in your wife's confidence in you.
Now, a BIG piece of advice for you if you perceive yourself as less attractive as her. Get rid of that mentality. Yes, easier said than done. But here's why I emphasize that:
Women find confidence extremely sexy. I've played with some so-so lookers in the past just because they have carried themselves so damn well with confidence, charisma and an easy-going personality. We ladies are more likely to gravitate towards a mix of personality and looks.
If I was to point out a few of my former partners to a random LS stranger, I'd get some funny looks. But ya know what? After getting to know some of those guys that I would have said "No way" to at first, they became irresistible to me just because of how they presented themselves.
Quit your fretting and have some confidence in yourself. Your sexy woman chose you, so put some stock in that and carry yourself high!!
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