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Question: Antecdote from a real lifestyle couple going through growing pains

Dear Lounge Advice,

I personally wanted to thank you for your advice. My wife and I have spoken, ok argued a bit since my note but things have gotten much better.
What I have found out and many know here is that the lifestyle is not geared toward men, especially if you have an outgoing, gorgeous and life of the party wife as I do.
The hardest part for me in all of this has been dealing with the fact that so many men want to be with my wife. That's ok because many women want to be with me but it's not easy for us guys. We have many lifestyle couple friends but there seems to be this underlying code that even if you say in your profile you play solo it does not matter. The reason I say this is because all the guys talk at the parties and we(meaning guys around 40 or so)are excited but may not be as sexually charged as our wives. I will tell you after talking to a lot of guys that it bugs the crap out of them and we are all a little confused/jealous and feel like we have been thrown to the curb. We also don't understand why our wives constantly want to get solo days/nights without us and tell us it is hot. If you as a guy don't understand that it is a hard nut to swallow. Especially when the wife starts chatting with single guys or even married guys and you started the lifestyle as a couple to play together but now she searches out, chats and flirst with a lot of men. It just is not easy, unless you can embrace it, love her and understand how it makes her hotter and your sex life hotter. It also works for us married guys as I have found out but it does take much more time getting used to.
My wife and I love each other and say it daily, what I did not realize that she was not doing this for any other reason than hot sex and she told me. It took awhile and some growing pains but that ultimatey is and has made us stronger.
We are the strongest of couples and still I was the one dealing with this issue more than her which shocked me as I love women and the experiences I have had with them. It all seemed so easy for her and that bugged me. When I opened my eyes and started enjoying myself it became clear why we are BOTH here, because we love and trust each other more than anything.
That is the most important thing in the lifestyle. We BOTH love it. I don't think I will ever say it will be easy but if you understand and trust your partner then the sex with your partner and others really does get hotter. This I know now for sure.

Thanks for listening and I hope this helps a lot of the guys who are saying or dealing with the same thing.

Bobby P

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Thank you for your feedback Bobby. I think this just might help some couples out there that are struggling with this very same thing ;)
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