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Question: She told her husband that my man is 'small' and we're very hurt

Dear Lounge Advice,
We have been hanging out with a local group of
swingers and things have been great. WE are still new to this but we have been open and honest and love where we are going.
Well we all went out for a party and ended up back at the hosts house. They do this a lot. they are all set up. We felt comfortable with this couple and was having an amazing time. during the middle of it she leans over and whisper in her husbands ear "he's small"
I didn't know this at the time. Of course we finshed and i found this out later. He's not small just average we both are. But he's a great lover and knows what to do.
now he is upset and to tell the truth so am I. This is the last thing i expected from them. They made us feel so welcome and now i feel like we weren't good enough. It's a big group of people and we have made connections with a few of them. Now i just extremly hurt and sad.
so do i say something? Do we lay low for a while? we have a big party soon and all these people will be there. WE love the lifestyle we just haven't come into this problem before. what now.



Dear (Anonymous),

I'm sorry you had to hear what she said and she probably should have been a bit more tactful by waiting to say it until you were both out of earshot. However, being new to the lifestyle, just know that couples will talk to each other about everything- from their play partners' size, to their lovemaking skills, to just about everything they experience.
Now, I know that it's hurtful to hear that. However, see what you wrote to me. You told me that he's average size and that he's a GREAT lover! So, why give a damn about one person 'perceives'? This girl may be into huge cocks and someone who is average may look small to her. It's her perception, her opinion. It does not change anything about him. He's not small and he's still a great lover.
Lay low? Are ya kidding me? Hell no! If you're going to allow one person's opinion to stunt your fun, then your priorities are misplaced. Go out, continue building your friendships and have a good time. If you appreciate your hubby's lovemaking skills, other women will too.
If it's going to bother you, then I suggest that you take that woman aside and let her know that he heard her. Be nice about it, let her know that it hurt both your feelings and that you're only telling her this because you wanted her to avoid making that blunder with someone else. She'll probably feel bad about it and apologize profusely. At least she'll know that in the future, she needs to save her comments for a more private moment.
Otherwise, the only people's opinions that you should take to heart are yours and your husband's.
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