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Question: Salvage the swinging relationship or go our separate ways?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 yrs and have dabbled in the LS for 2 but are relatively inexperienced.

We've only swapped with 3 couples and each time was great at the moment but she later felt very guilty and was not comfortable with things for a variey of reasons.

We swapped this weekend and she felt neglected by me and again things are kinda bad.

I enjoy the LS and all the friends we've met but due to her tripping out from time to time we lost those friendships and some really cool people which I totally hated.

I don't want to stop as this is the first time I've been as open and happy with who I am and what I want from life. I may lose her if we don't stop. I don't want that to happen but I know I'll resent her later if we do stop. The flip side of that coin is her being true to herself.

So?

Try and salvage this and give her better encouragement and sensitivity and this will pass or go our seperate ways?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

What is your main priority? Is it a loving relationship with her, or is it a swinging lifestyle?
You need to deice what is most important. If you feel that your relationship with her is paramount, then you need to give her the encouragement and sensitivity of which you speak. If it's the lifestyle you truly want, don't drag her though this- please.
Find someone who really wants to do this and be fair to her by letting her go her own way. Trust me, nothing good comes from trying to get your significant other to sign onto something she doesn't feel right doing.
Decide what you really want and go through with it. Either way, be fair to the one you love.
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