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Question: Should I be suspicious of her insistance to meet him alone?

Dear Lounge Advice,
We have not had much experience so far. We have been two other couples and we did do a full swap. There is no problem there at all.
Now we have decided to try a MFM. We both have agreed on who. But now the problem is, my wife is trying to convince me to let her go out with the guy by herself, for the first experience. We have agreed to remain same room players, but she is persistant on insisting that I am being selffish, because I will not permit her to swing seperately alone with him, if not at least once, but maybe even a few times, before inviting him to join us for the real MFM. I know that she does chat with almost daily, without admitting it, and she does seem to know an awful lot about him, to which he as only chatted with twice, to which he did not have much at all to say.
Should I be suspicious, or am I over reacting? I feel very strong about staying as a same room only, as we did decide together, to experience the lifestyle together, and now she expecting me to cut her loose, with a non ending hall pass, as if I give on this one, I will never be able reign her back in.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Go with your gut on this one. Your last paragraph says it all. I'm not sure if you follow the advice, but I've had a few cases recently similar to this where the man has gone against his gut and allowed this to happen. Subsequently, I've been party to the saddening sagas over my e-mail for a couple weeks now from two men.
I'm not saying that she would take this and get out of control with it. However, if you don't feel comfortable with what she asks, put your foot down. If you think she's concealing chats from you, the 'alone' time should go no further.
She needs to keep her eye on the importance of your relationship together. That should be the priority. If she continues to push despite your protests, then I would be very suspicious of this, since it would be a case of placing your wishes below her need to do this.
Remember, we must respect each other to do this, and she isn't respecting your feelings on the matter. Stick to your convictions.
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