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Question: MFM when the other F was asleep

Dear Lounge Advice,

We were recently at a very late after party, and my girl wanted to have a threesome with the guy from the host couple, but his wife had fallen asleep. My girl grabed us both and we went into another room, the guy asked me if it was cool with me which it was, but I could see he was conflicted.

He penetrated her a few times, but would pull out after a minute or less and look around, I asked him if it was going to be a problem with his wife if she saw us, and I could tell by the look on his face that it probably would be.

Then he disengaged from us and me and my girl went at it. I then noticed his wife had awakend and gone to the bathroom and then upstairs, I don't think she saw us, but I'm not 100% sure. We left a short time later.

My question is this, should I have told him no its not cool if this has any chance of causing a problem for his wife, not so much to protect him, but to protect us from possible repurcussions of us becoming known as a trouble making couple.

Robyn, as always I look forward to your advice.



Dear (Anonymous),

In that situation, I think it would have been wise for you to have said that, especially since she was asleep. This should have been done first, before leading him to the play area.
However, two things are in your favor here. First, you did make an attempt to see if this would be a problem, albeit later than you should have.
Most important though, I feel that regardless of whether you had asked if it was okay, he's a big boy. He knows how to say no if he doesn't feel right about something or if he feels that his wife would be upset. This was almost entirely his fault if he gets into trouble with his wife. It's just another example of someone thinking with the wrong head.
Bottom line- If he had doubts about this, he could easily have said no and left it at that. He went ahead and tried to sneak in some play, so it was his choice.


He was not forced and he did not speak up. His choice= his consequences to bear
Nobody else should have to remind him of his own morals (or lack thereof).

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