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Question: Possible correspondence with my hubby's ex- not sure if it's her

Dear Lounge Advice,

Ok so here is the situation. We were contacted by a couple from my hubby's home town. We didn't think we knew the couple (I KNOW I don't know them). However, after chatting online the female of the party was found out to have the same interests name and likes as one of my husbands ex girl friends. Now we have not seen any face pics of this couple so we aren't positive that this is the case buy it is making us a bit uncomfortable. I am not sure how we should handle this. They know we have family in the area and they also know that I attended college in that area but they do NOT know my husband grew up there. We just don't know how to tell them we think we may know the female half and think it is best we all not go any further and end up with all of us feeling TOTALLY awkward. Is there any way to gracefully bow out of this situation?

Thanks for your time!

Kinda Freaking

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

In this situation, as awkward and painful as it might be, I'd be completely honest with them. Don't come out and say "I think she is my hubby's ex", but just say you're pretty sure you know her and you'd feel more comfortable not pursuing it anymore. Apologize for cutting it off, but tell them that you wanted to do the right thing and not ignore them or cut them off without reason.
If you're afraid of her putting two and two together and figuring out who your hubby is, here's what you can do- tell them that it is YOU who knows her. Don't elaborate or feel the need to explain it any further. Nobody here needs to explain the details of why correspondence is no longer desired. If you give them a general reason, then it should be left at that. If they continue to press for detail, respectfully decline.
Granted, you're not sure if this is indeed who you think it is. But, I feel that if I was in your shoes, it would be best to cut it off right now. On the off-chance that it is her, you can avoid a big mess.

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