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Question: We set our rules and he broke them the first time out.

Dear Lounge Advice,

We went to a lifestyle party weekend for the first time. I've never been to anything like this but my husband has. I wasn't sure how I felt about swinging but was definitely intrigued. We set our rules...one being we never do anything without the other person in the room.
Well one night we were heading up to our room and he realized he forgot his shoes up by the jacuzzi where there was a lot of action. I told him to go get them and I'd wait. Well, I waited and waited and decided to go check on him. By the time I got up there he was coming out of the hottub with a hard on. I was pretty upset and he told me nothing happened...that he was just excited from seeing the action. The next night someone mentioned how my husband was getting head in the hot tub the night before...so he lied. I confronted him later about it and he apologized profusely and said some girl just grabbed him and put it in her mouth. Whatever. He said he didn't want to tell me because I'd be upset. I'm open to trying this lifestyle and having fun but not if it's starting out with lies. Am I overreacting?



Dear (Anonymous),

No, you're not overreacting at all.
Your boundaries and rules were discussed and agreed upon and he broke them.
If you haven't done so already, let him know how you feel and that you're still open to this. However, he needs to be made well-aware that if this EVER happens again, you're done with the lfiestyle.
So, he can either have fun playing under the set rules, or he can live without it.
Be firm with him.
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