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Question: My B/F is hanging out with a woman while I'm not there and I'm not comfy with this

Dear Lounge Advice,

My boyfriend of four years texted a girl to come over for drinks while I was traveling for work. He told her to be a bad girl and drink with him cuz he was drinking alone. This girl is one that we have both played with together only and she has caused problems in the past with us and I asked him to stop texting her unless we both were around. He told me he has known her longer than me and that he did not do anything. What should I do?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

I'm sorry, what?
He said he's known her longer than you and therefore, he should be allowed to hang out with her when you're not around? Plus, she has already caused problems, AND they are drinking together.

Excuse me?

Dear one, YOU are his girlfriend and if she is going to be a problem for the relationship, your say goes. He needs to respect that and compromise with you. He needs to respect *you*.
I feel that's it's very fair for you to allow her to be around as long as you are around. I believe that it is also fair for you to put your foot down and assert your wishes about this.
If this was me in the situation and he ignored my request, I would feel that he didn't respect me.
Sit him down, be firm and tell him what you want. Either he respects this compromise or he can rethink his priorities and the status of htis relationship.
Gauge his reaction and go from there, but do not back down if this is making you feel uncomfortable.
I'm going out on a limb by suggesting this, but I daresay she should be informed of how you feel too. See if she respects you enough to avoid causing a potential problem by involving herself with him while he's alone.
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