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Question: I found out that my wife has been swinging, hooking, and making XXX films behind my back.

Dear Lounge Advice,
I have been with my wife for 7 years and we have 2 little girls ages 5 and 6 months. We have attempted a few tries at swinging with no avail, I just could not get comfortable with the Lifestyle. Just recently I found out that our marriage is a total lie. My wife has been swinging since before I met her. Actually I met her when her and her exhusband invited me over. My wife is also hooking and filming adult movies, I have opted for a divorce rather then be with such a deceptive person. I feel their is no hope, what is your take.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Please remember that my advise is only one opinion out of many you should seek in such a serious situation.
I hate that there are children involved in this, but she has put their lives in the middle of this by choosing to deceive you to this extent.
If she is indeed doing all of these things, this doesn't sound like a case that can be remedied. Of course, there is always hope, but to what point does hope turn into self-delusion? Should you try to turn her around? You could, but she is the one who has deceived you for so long. If you thought there was a chance for her to change her ways, she would have to be the one to do the hard work. Do you think she will change? Do you truly feel in your heart that even if she's willing to make a complete turnaround, that you can forgive her for such deep betrayal?
If your answer is no, then continuing this relationship will be toxic.
Placing myself in your situation, I would choose to leave. I'm not a law expert, but I can surmise that the two young souls could go to you under the circumstances surrounding the split. Can you prove the things that she is doing? No judge in good standing could leave two children to a parent who is partaking in prostitution.
Luckily, the girls are young enough not to be affected immediately by a breakup. It won't be as traumatic for them when they grow older since they would be too young to form a deep bond with you both.
I just couldn't bring myself to stay in a marriage if this kind of thing was done to me. Nobody deserves to live with that.
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