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Question: Good LS friends always want to party and hook up with just us

Dear Lounge Advice,

We have been in the LS for about four years. We discovered this wonderful site about 3 years ago.

All the couples we have met have been primarily LL members and where we live, it is very easy for us to attend meet and greets, or big parties and on premise clubs as well.

SO, about a year ago we met a really nice couple at a meet and greet, all set up through LL's home page party section.
We played with this couple that night as well as only a few other times in the last year, since we met.
The problem is, I do not really think they hook up with other couples that much, nor do we really, but I think we do more than them.

We like to attend parties, meet and greets, on premise clubs not to just primarily play, but to meet people whom we have perved through LL. Sometimes we play, sometimes we do not, all is good.

WELL, for the last few months this couple always asks us our plans for the up coming weekend. We do
not have a problem with that. The problem lies with us wanting to put ourselves on the ((party list)) on LL. Everytime we do, they put themselves on the list, in hopes that THEY are going to play with US.
Like I previously stated, we do not go to parties primarily to hook up, but to just meet people, flirt and party.
We just feel that when they are at the same party that we are, that we are going to play with them.

We just do not want to hurt feelings in a party situation with them there, especially if WE do leave with some one else.

Is there a polite way to hang out with them, flirt, yet not play with them if we do not want to, especially if we are hitting it off with another couple???



Dear (Anonymous),

"Hey you two! Something was on our minds and we wanted to touch base with ya on this. We loooove partying with you both, but here's what we're a little worried about. We're all in this to meet new people at parties and make new friends. We don't ever want either of you to feel that you shouldn't hit on other couples if we're at the same party. It will never hurt our feelings if you decide to flirt with anyone else, or go home with them. So don't ever feel that you're tied to us, because we're obviously 'shopping' there too and we know you wouldn't us to feel this way either. However, we wouldn't mind hearin' some juicy details afterwards either. We'll share if you do, LOL! Wanna do dinner sometime soon? We're free on...etc."

Somewhat akin to reverse psychology with a little humor, expectance of mutual respect and a little hint, hint, nudge nudge, thrown in.

If that doesn't get the hint across, then they will have to take the hint the harder way by perhaps seeing you flirt and leave with another couple. If this is the way it ends up, remember that you did nothing wrong. You're not going steady with them and they may have to learn this the hard way. But, that's sometimes how we grow in the lifestyle.
Afterall, it's swinging, not going steady.
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