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Question: Restarting a relationship after being left instantly for a mistake

Dear Lounge Advice,

Should I go back into a relationship that the guy really did not give it a second thought to break up with me for an trying an illegal drug? But now has a change of heart and wants me come back and start the relationship over again with a clean slate.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

I know it stings to think about the past, but in this case, I have an intuitive feeling that past transgressions will only hinder you if you harp on them.
He has obviously given thought to his decision and come to the conclusion that he acted to harshly. If he's willing to forgive and forget, I don't think it could hurt to try this again if you really like him.
Naturally, you'll both need to talk about this and discuss what you both feel is unacceptable. This way, you're both aware of what the other will not tolerate and can act accordingly if you're comfortable with it.
Just be sure to let him know that it hurt to be dumped so quickly over a mistake you made. You shouldn't be afraid to make a mistake that will lead to being abandoned again. Let him know that he needs to have more faith in you. You're going to mess up and he's not going to like/agree with all of your poor decisions. But part of being in a relationships entials dealing with your partner's mistakes, working through it and growing from it.
He will most likely bring up that repeating the same thing that upsets your partner will lead to the possibility of a breakup. If he does say this, he is correct. He has every right to choose to leave if you repeat the offenses, but perhaps he should be more tolerant of the fact that you will goof up now and again. He will too, and you will not leave at the first sign of trouble. Let him know that you will endure stormy weather with him too if he happens to make a mistake.
If we all left our partners after one thing happened that we didn't like, most of us would never see a long-term relationship.
We deal with each others' mistakes to an extent, we live, we love and we move forward.
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