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Question: Cheating despite professing undying love

Robyn,
Thank you for all you advice. We stopped swinging to work things out. Except Phil made the choice of having side relations with his banker, vanilla women who knew about me. When I found that out, it was pack up my things and walk away from us. Phil has viewpoints of why he is innocent and needs other chance. Robyn, please help me understand how a man who needs you in his life, un-dyeing love for you, wants to be a couple again, can have his own single profile on LL?? Robyn, are theses kinds of people addicted to cheating? Is there a cure or will they forever go on hurting other people with there lies?
Mary of once philandmary


Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

I'm sorry hun- I can't make you understand that. I don't understand it, and probably never will. I never try to rationalize irrational behavior, nor can I never understand someone who has the world and still wants to conquer.
Some of these people are addicted to cheating and the behavior may never end. Some of these people will never have full understanding of the value behind securing a wonderful partnership. Once in a while, they make the same mistakes so many times that they eventually see the light. But by then, they've lost so much and hurt so many and can't make amends because they have left so much hurt in their wake.
Those on the receving end can be thankful that we moved on. We can evaluate ourselves and better ourselves, but we cannot expect to change or understand one who does not wish to do the same.
We can hope to learn from others' mistakes and strive never to make them ourselves.
For me, I feel sadness for those who cannot see past themselves, especially when they do try, but once again fail in their efforts.
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