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Question: Crossing the line- My wife is giving her number to men at bars

Dear Lounge Advice,

We have been into the lifestyle for a little while now. My wife has been flirting more with guys which is fine with me as long as I'm around.
Recently she gave her phone number to two different guys at a local bar when she was out with friends. Both have called and tried to text her. When I told her that I felt it was crossing the line and I was uncomfortable she said she was sorry and would stop talking with them. She said she was drunk and it felt OK at the time to give out her cell number.
Now, about a week later I noticed she has been texting two of these guys and one of them brought her coffee at work. She told me about the latter which means she is being honest with what's happening. The part I feel hurt about it that she gave out her number without asking me first, and that she continues to communicate with these 2. She said they were "friends" that she has made at that bar over time, but I don't buy it. Guys don't hang out at bars looking for girls to be "friends" with. I'm a guy and I've been around the block a few times. I know.

What should I do? How should I approach her on this so she really gets the point that this is NOT cool with me? I want her to have friends, but not give out her number to guys she met at a bar.

Feel free to edit this down if you use it.

Thank you,

Seattle, WA
ps- If you do use this can you please not message me since I prefer to keep this private? thank you!



Dear (Anonymous),

You should approach her exactly as you worded it in your last paragraph.
She obviously not being respectful of your feeling on this matter. Let her know. Don't beat around the bush or try to be gentle about it. Be direct and firm and tell her that what she's doing is NOT okay. Tell her that it's great for her to have friends, but handing her number out to men at bars is not the way to do it. She can't be that naive to think that this is an ideal method of making friends. If she truly does think that this is fine, you need to hand her a wake-up call. If she continues to do this, she may end up with someone obsessive on her hands because he is not getting what he wants from her- sex.
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