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Question: Ready or not?

Dear Lounge Advice,

Ok, here's the deal....
We have been members of LL for almost a year, and have met many great people, and made many friends as well. We have never full swapped, just same room, and on a few encounters, soft swap occurred. I, being the woman, enjoy the erotic parts of the LL, but do not wish to participate in too much activity with others. I am satisfied with my husband totally and fill no one could ever make me feel the way he does. Now he would like to enjoy more participation with other females, but it makes me feel uncomfortable. Is this common?? I've seen him do things with women, and it made me feel very uneasy inside. He says I have jealousy and insecurity issues and he can get very stubborn when we try to talk about it. My past haunts me me, my ex husband cheated on me, so I'm not certain I could sit and watch him pleasure another woman.
We have talked and I have asked to move slow and at a comfortable pace, we agreed, same room only, but then it's almost as if we never talked and it's almost implied that it's anything BUT penetration. I'm excited by the lifestyle, I just fear seeing something I may not be ready for??

Please let me know if I'm not normal....




Dear (Anonymous),

You're very normal.
My ex-husband cheated on me too, and we were swinging together. I completely understand what you are feeling. You probably don't jealous issues, but I'm willing to bet that he's right about the insecurity issues.
If he respects you, he will slow down and make the effort to let you know that he loves you and he will not betray you as this other man did.
Ask him to respect your wishes right now. Because of what you've been through, this does need to be done at a slow pace. Tell him that the possibility is there for this to go further. But let him know that if it goes too far too fast, that opportunity will probably disappear.
Let him know that you're willing, but he must be patient. Not only will this show respect to what you've exprienced in the past, but it will also show you that you're the top priority to him.
Please tell him what you told me. I think your honesty and openness will go a long way if he truly loves and respects you.
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