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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
Does this make me a cuckold?
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Lifestyle Etiquette
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Relationship Advice
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Friendships, Clubs & More...
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Question: Making the connection and finding what we seek

Dear Lounge Advice,
My husband and I recently joined LL and feel that no one is really responding to our profile. We've put a few pics and created an honest profile. We're just starting off and feeling a bit frustrated. I'm not ready to do the couple thing. I prefer an attractive bi-sexual woman to join us(in the bedroom and outside).
We've been to a few party's but again, not interested in the full swap thing and I don't know how to get what I want. Any suggestions on how to make this work?



Dear (Anonymous),

Have you been waiting for others to contact you, or have you been taking the initiative to make first contact with others?
It's so important for each of us to reach out and contact others instead of hoping that our profiles will draw others in. If too many people wait for first contact, nothing will come of this, and you're left with a whole lot of disappointed people wondering what's wrong.
A couple of things that I have noticed given the limited information at hand:
1) Your profile pics are scarce. It would help you out if you had more posted, and not just of you. Women want a good look at the man too. If putting faces in the profile makes you uncomfortable, lock them in your private album and give access at your own comfort level.
2) Attractive single bi ladies are VERY hard to come by. If this is what you're mainly seeking, it will take a lot of patience on your part. You will also have to be aggressive in your pursuit. As I mentioned before, taking a passive role in this process will do no good.
3) You list yourself as bi-comfortable. I'm not sure if this is the term you intend to use. Bi-comfortable means that you're okay with having a bisexual woman around you, but don't necessarily want to partake in anything sexual with her. If this is indeed the word that describes you, this will put you at a disadvantage. If you're seeking truly bisexual women, they will want to know that you're bisexual as well, not just comfortable being around them. You may want to elaborate on this a bit more in your profile. If you're open to exploring sex with another woman, state that too.
4) You don't really indicate in your profile that you're not ready for the couple experience. In fact, your preferences state that you're open to foursomes and group sex. Plus, you mention twice that condoms are required. This might confuse couples if they find your profile interesting. I know that if we saw your profile without seeing the information you wrote to me, we would think you're a full swap couple.

Overall, I feel that you should be more specific in your profile about what you're seeking, AND what you aren't seeking. Between the information you conveyed in your letter here and the information in your profile, there seems to be some conflict.
Remember, the more specific your requests are, the more likely you are to find exactly what you want.
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