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Question: We're ready, but not finding what we're looking for.

Dear Lounge Advice,
We are a very sexual couple looking to turn up the heat, How do we go about meeting a single male or another couple ? We have went to parties before but never have met the perfect couple .We are really ready to explore the wild side of life but not finding what we are looking for



Dear (Anonymous),

This process takes patience. I too was very impatient when I started doing this many years ago. Your profile is one of the keys to success.
If you choose to make your profile concise and nondescript, you offer little to your prospects. A poorly written profile looks like this:

We are a fun-loving couple seeking sexy fun-loving partners for fun in and out of the bedroom. Must be fit, drug and disease free and share similar interests.

Naturally, we all have something specific in mind when choosing our mates. So, why not be specific when composing your text? Think of the type of profile you would respond to, and base your own on this. Generic text, such as the example illustrated above, will only serve to attract anyone and everyone to your profile, especially those you didnít want to attract in the first place. However, if it is your preference to release your information upon further interaction, that's fine.
There should be something of substance in your profile, though, and not just one-liners. Give people a general feeling as to who you are, what you want and donít want, your play preferences, and your boundaries. Anything beyond that is up to you to indulge. The more specific the profile is, the more likely you are going to find exactly what you seek. Donít be a profile pooper! Another important quality in a profile is grammar and spelling. See, and you thought high school English was a waste of your time! Now is your chance to use it and impress your readers. If you are going to take the time to compose a quality profile, your conventions play a key role.
Even though you have put much time and effort into attracting people to your profile, this is no time to just sit back and expect them to come to you. There are members on the site who do nothing but wait for others to contact the, which sometimes isnít very fruitful. Two negatives donít make a positive in this case. Be proactive and initiate contact yourself!
When you initiate contact with a member, it doesnít have to be a long involved letter. Websites usually offer a feature that allows you to create a standard message to send others so you donít have to type out a greeting every time you e-mail somebody. Although this is the easy way to introduce yourself to somebody, it may not be the best. Receiving a Ďcannedí message isnít very personal, and may serve to turn others off. If you received a standard letter from someone that you know everyone else gets, would you feel very special? Probably not. In order for you to get noticed, try sending a short personal letter to those you would like as your potential playmates. The best kind of introductory e-mail to receive is one that indicates that not only did they look at your pictures, but that they also read your profile. The letter will note something that stood out in the profile, and make a point of complimenting both the pictures and a section of the text. People can often tell whether you have read their profile or not. When a member plainly states in the profile that they are only searching single females, and a couple contacts them about the possibility of swapping, itís quite obvious that the profile was ignored and the pictures were the only source of interest.

That being said, you will need to be patient with this process. It's not much different than dating in the regular world. To me, it's a bit more complicated since there are usually two people trying to make a four-way match. If this is something you really want, you will have to show initiative and determination. (Sorry for the business-meeting jargon).
If you're seeking single males, this is the best place to start since there are plenty out there and it's easier to find a compatible single sometimes than looking for two compatible people.
This may offer you some more immediate gratification while you seek out a good couple match.

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