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Question: Single male looking to get into the scene

Dear Lounge Advice,

Hi,
I'm new to this and wanted some advice on how to meet people and what to say, do to make things happen?! I would like to keep it real and hope that others do the same it'd be real cool to find a few friends that are into the same things as I am! I think that I perform well in the bedroom and am hung well enough to please most and am willing to try a few new things too!
Please write back and let me know how to proceed?!

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

First and foremost, there is a reason for the phrase single gentleman. Anyone can be a single male. It takes the extraordinary male to be a gentleman. In a world sought after by so many single males, one must aspire to be a gentleman to beat the odds. Simply put, men are a dime a dozen. Gentlemen are priceless, and the skills that accompany this type of atypical male are ones that will win over many a couple seeking you out. Some single males operate under the false assumption that all couples desire a single male to join them. This couldn’t be farther from the truth, as the majority of swingers do not wish to entertain this particular situation. The majority of couples are seeking other couples or that elusive single female.
Since the supply of single men far outweighs the actual demand, it is necessary to go the extra mile when attracting an interested couple or single lady.
There are certain unofficial rules of etiquette and conduct for single males both on websites and out on ‘dates’. The ones that understand and practice the unspoken etiquette have a far better chance of achieving what they desire. There are many men who seem never to ‘get it’, therefore, they don’t ‘get any’.
To begin with, you should have a well-developed profile. This goes for both couples and singles, but for a male, it is especially crucial to your quest. Your pictures should reflect who you are. If you post multiple photos of your crotch, or display the myriad angles of your erection, you will crash and burn at the outset. Not only is this vulgar, but it certainly won’t get you recognized when you meet someone out on a date, even if you walk around naked with an erection. Be tasteful. Post full body shots, face shots and candid everyday shots of yourself. Professional photos are always a plus as well. You can certainly opt to showcase your equipment, but keep those pictures to a bare minimum and keep them out of your main picture slot. Preferably, if the website includes a private photo album, they should be placed there and accessed by members upon request. Your first photo should be the best representation of yourself. A classy clothed photo can communicate confidence. A candid photo of you at home, playing with your pets, or out with friends showcases your personality. A professional headshot or a formally attired full body photo exudes a sense of sophistication. Now, think of what a close up erection photo conveys. Hopefully, this point is lucid enough.
Your profile should attest to your character, personality and attitude. Here’s a non-example of a single male’s profile:

I’m a single looking for fun. I’m an in shape professional with brown hair and brown eyes. I like to go out and meet people and have fun. I love sex and pleasing the ladies. I am searching for a fun attractive female or a couple who likes to have a good time.


Not only is this profile short and non-descript, but it could be a description of the majority of the population. This gives no insight to the author of the profile and has nothing to distinguish it from the thousands of other bios. The information provided is a statement of the obvious. Naturally, if you’re a single male, you’re on a swinger’s site looking for fun and seeking to meet people. A description of appearance shouldn’t be necessary if you have included a nice array of photos showcasing your looks.
Every man enjoys sex, and most enjoy pleasing women, so that was another statement of the obvious. As for the last sentence, well, what else would someone be searching for? I certainly wouldn’t expect any man to indicate that he is searching for an ugly partner or couple to show him the worst time of his life.
Not one thing in this profile does anything to further this man’s cause. It’s too general and does not show an inkling of personality.
Creating the profile is just the tip of the iceberg. Singles must conduct themselves with more care than perhaps a couple contacting another couple.
Singles should remember that when dealing with a couple, that there are TWO people that comprise a couple. If you look like a Calvin Klein model, you will still get nowhere without the proper respect. In any circumstance, if you're dealing with a couple, the male half can simply ‘like’ a single girl in order to bring her into their bed, - he has to LOVE a single guy in order to invite him into bed with his wife.
If you are going to devote yourself to becoming a prominent and desired single male, you must go the distance in order to impress your targets. The most respectful thing when contacting a couple is to approach the husband first and secure his blessings before going any further. This holds true for encountering couples at parties too. Men don’t have to look like models in order to break into the couples’ scene. The only ‘models’ that will truly get them far are model manners and etiquette.
The best way to proceed to is be honest, respectful and unassuming. If you get onto a site and expect nothing but threesomes every weekend, you’ll find yourself sorely disappointed.

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