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Question: We didn't show up- wondering if this is affecting us negatively

Dear Lounge Advice,
Hi. We are new members. We were recently going to participate in our first event, a large party in Saint Cloud on Jan 10th. We got a room in a nice hotel close to the place and traveled there. We even responded to another couple on the booty call who gave us their phone number for a pre-party get together. While at the hotel getting ready my wife found out she had not brought what she was planning to wear, then one thing let to another and she suddenly got cold feet, and we ended up not meeting with that couple or going to the party. We were so embarresed that we did not even call anyone(We had not made any specific plans with the other couple). We are now planning to go to the next party at Canterbury in Shakopee. Since missing that party though the flow of emails we were getting from other couples have suddenly stopped. Do we need to worry that we are kind of black listed for that mishap or is it just unrealated? How can we smooth it over if these things are realted? Please let us know. We have found people on LL to be realy nice and don't want any misunderstandings. Thanks.



Dear (Anonymous),

It could be either scenario.
It's completely understandable if things happen that inhibit the mood or your plans for the evening. However, always let the other couple know that you won't be showing. Even if they weren't expecting an exclusive date, they were at least expecting to see you show up. If you did not show up, at least call them that evening. Tell the truth, too. People can see through lies. The best policy in this case would have been the truth.
You can smooth it over by contacting this other couple. Better late than never.

Otherwise, what will you do if you run into them at another party? Things will be awkward and you will be sorry that you didn't at least make an effort to explain.
People do talk in this lifestyle. Word will get around if you back out without saying a word. This has nothing to do with 'missed opportunities' or an expectation for an evening date. It has everything to do with courtesy. To them, they may feel stood up. Perhaps not. But err on the side of caution and at least explain yourself. Even if the loss of e-mails is unrelated, you won't be left feeling guilty about anything anymore.
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