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Question: Vegas? Rejection? First timers

Dear Lounge Advice,

My husband and I have been married for 12 years now! We have an exciting sex life, but wanted to enhance it more. So we thought we would try to get into the lifestyle. Although we have talked to a few people online, we have not met or been with anyone yet? What would be the best way to do this? I think we are more worried about being rejected than anything else. We were thinking of going to the party in Vegas, but were told by other couples that that might not be a good way to get into the lifestyle at first? What do you suggest??

Confused and curious!!



Dear (Anonymous),

I don't necessarily see the Vegas excursion as an ideal venue for first-timers. You see, the Vegas experience is for those who are into nonstop contact with others, and it is usually comprised of experienced swingers. If you do want to go, you just have to set your own boundaries for each other and expect to communicate those boundaries to others.
If it's uncomfortable for you, you'll be there for a few days. On the other hand, if you find that you enjoy prolonged time around lifestylers, you'll get a big dose of that if you go.
Either way, you'll committ yourself to being there for a good deal of time.
If you're looking to try on this lifestyle for a good fit, I feel that it's best to go to your local swingers' club. You can sit back and watch and decide if you're comfortable with the scene. If you're not quite into it, you can just go home and enjoy each other. If one or both of you has an issue with it, you won't be 'stuck' there for an extended period of time surrounded by lifestylers.
Going to a swing venue for a night offers you a sampling without knowing you'll be staying for extended time.
If you try this a couple of times and feel good about it, then sign up for Vegas!
As for rejection, we've all been on the receiving end of it.
Do not take it personally.
Everyone has their own standards and preferences. That is what makes a diverse lifestyle so wonderful.
After all, you'll end up passing on some people that take an interest in you. Why? They just don't fit your particular preference. Try to remember that.
It will happen, period. If you fixate on being turned down, this lifestyle will make you insecure and you simply won't enjoy your time here.
Remember, it's like dating, except with four people instead of two. It's not so much about rejection than it is about personal preferences.

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