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Question: Couples ask me to play alone.

Dear Lounge Advice,

We have been into this lifestyle for the past 3yrs..The problem we seem to have is that the couple is just interested in me for sexual exploration. We have said up front that we do not swing alone. The other couples hear that and just exclude my husband.....He is not bad looking at all but a bit shy. We have not been with another couple sexually but that is our wishes.. I have had one bi experience and it seems like the couples we meet really want me included and not him. Gee, what are we doing wrong. I would never leave him out....Other couples have said to give them time and we could possibly engage in sex all the way around. Then the next thing we know, is that they are seeing other couples. Pleas give us your advice as I am sure this is not the concern of us.

Elayne and Tom



Dear (Anonymous),

What are you doing wrong? It seems to us that you are doing everything RIGHT! It sounds like you have just met the wrong couples.

If you tell a couple that you only play as a couple and they try to exclude your husband... then they are the ones who are screwed up.. not you.

If other couples have said to give them time... then give them time to get to know the two of you better... don't concern yourselves with who else they are socializing or playing with... they could have just said, "no"

Remember that there are only two people in the lifestyle that really matter at all.... you and your spouse.
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