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Question: He did all of this to me, but I want him back

Dear Lounge Advice,

I just wanted to up date you regarding a previous question I posed regarding my bf sending out 686 emails from another swinger site. Things went from bad to worse. We agreed to not step outside of swinging as individuals, but to always keep it as couples. He began writing emails to women and couples who were looking for just men. He also started writing couples who were both bi telling them he wanted a bi experience and that I wouldn't be interested in participating if he were to have have a bi experience.

I did confront him, gently and nonaccusatory about all this and he denied he sent any emails regarding these matters. Well, I printed out the emails and he said he didn't remember writing them. I told him I was not feeling comfortbable with all this and I felt this was starting to undermine our relationship. Well, that was it, he became nasty and broke it off.

Things were fine, I mean really fine, we never had an argument, up until we decided to swing. I don't think the relationship was ready for it and it may never have gotten to the point of being ready. However, I miss him and would like him back in my life, which I know considering his dishonesty is likely very foolish. Any advise you can offer me, I would appreciate it. I am really hurt over all this.

Contradictions2

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

He doesn't respect you.

He chose extra-curricular sex over you.

He lied to you multiple times.

It IS foolish of you to want this man back.
Do you WANT to have self-esteem and dignity?
If not, then chase after him. You'll just be advertising yourself as a human doormat, and it WILL get worse.

Don't you deserve better?
No excuses, no 'buts'.

You either feel like you're worth more than this, or you don't.
You already know the answer. You probably can't admit it just yet.
Take some time and step out of the situation. A little bit of objective perspective will serve you well.

THINK, WOMAN!


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