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Question: How do politely say

Dear Lounge Advice,

We recently had an experience with another couple who we (at least for now) prefer not to play with again sexually. They did nothing "wrong" per se' ... we simply discovered (after the fact) that we did not feel as "connected" with them as we initially thought we did.

What makes this a little more difficult is that through other friends, we will be seeing them off and on -- and in fact, we prefer to "socially" remain friends with them anyway.

Although it's difficult, we've learned how to tell people "no thanks" when we are contacted through email, or even after meeting in person ... but AFTER playing with them once?? ... It seems impossible to say "no more of that", without hurting thier feelings.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give.

-- too nice to say-so



Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

We are all big boys and girls here and although no one is interested in hurting anyone elses feelings.. you cant let that fear guide your actions or you will end up staying home.

This really may not be an issue. People are more perceptive than you can imagine. If we are not interested in "going there" again with a couple they can usually tell. If we were interested we would be paying much more attention to them.. etc...

Now if they were to approach you directly and ask you if something was wrong, etc or if they are trying to contact you and you are avoiding them.. then you must say something.

Just like you say that you learned how to tell people "no thanks"... we are sure it was akward at first... the same goes here.

Once you learn that we are all adults and we understand that we cannot be everything to everyone.. it will be just as easy to say to another couple... "We enjoyed ourselves and had lots of fun with you guys.. but we prefer for our relationship to be a friendship and not a physical relationship.

If you are really freaked... send them an email to that effect.
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