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Question: The lifestyle helps my husband 'get in the mood for me'.

Dear Lounge Advice,

We've been in the lifestyle for three years now. We go to many different lifestyle functions were we have soft swapped but never full swapped. Well, we went to a new couples house and talked about going ahead and trying full swap. Everything started off fine but eerything changed for me when I saw my husband putting on a condom and started having with sex with his partner. I allowed everything to continue until they were done but once we left I was completely hurt. Since then we have gone to a resort where something similar happened and again I felt upset. My problem is that while I realize that I'm not ready for the lifestyle my husband despite my feelings wants to continue saying that it helps him to get in the mood to be with me. What should I do? Do I continue so that he and I can continue our sexual relationship?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Do you realize how very wrong this is?

If not, you need to. Your husband can only get in the mood to be with you if he has sex with someone else?!?
If he actually said this to you, he should be ashamed.

YOU, my dear should NOT be doing this just to keep him satisified and *willing* to have sex with you.

If you continue to put yourself in these positions, you are enabling him.

STOP.

Speak up.

If you do not express your feeling and allow this pattern to continue, you will be part of the problem
Regain your dignity and assert yourself. If you are not willing to do this, you have no room to complain.
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