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Question: Dealing with more girl-girl and less full swap action

Dear Lounge Advice,

I am the female half of a cpl, We have been in the lifestyle for quite a few years now, But what has been bothering me is, it seems the whole lifestyle revolves around the girls having their bisexual play.

We are a cpl and I enjoy seeing my husband having sex with the other woman of a cpl. Remember, we thought it was suppose to be about everyone involved having fun, But it seems lately all we can find is cpls who just want the girls to play or they want to soft swap which won't do it for us sexually..

I am to the point now where I don't even want to experience a woman bisexually for fear they will just tell us that the other woman wants to be with my husband to get to me..

Any words of advice in dealing with this type of situation??



Dear (Anonymous),

Yes. This frustrates me as well.

I have gotten to the point where I ask them their intentions up front. This may be in e-mail, or it could be face-to-face.
Tell them your intentions as a couple, and explain that you do not want just girl-girl play.
You're a full-swap couple, and that's what you are seeking.

Ask them what they seek. If they beat around the bush and can't seem to say that they want full swap, then don't bother with them. We look at the profiles for signs of their preferences. We like it when they state outright that they want full swap.

Both couples just need to be candid about their desires, and MEAN IT. You and your hubby just need to be able to shoot straight and come to that understanding with someone before even thinking about hitting the sheets.
We've saved ourselves a lot of headache by doing exactly that.
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