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Question: The 'ol bait and switch- How to avoid

Dear Lounge Advice,

We have read many of your responces and feel you have given out great advice. I have sooo many things I would like to ask, The list is endless...:)

I will start with what I feel to be one of the biggest issues we encouter... That being, We are a couple looking for full swap couples. I am bi-sexual and my husband is straight.

The problem we seem to encounter time and time again is... Couples out there seem to only want the girl/girl play... They can't find single females easily, So they go in search of couples with a bi female to achieve their agenda!

Me and my husband are VERY upfront from the get go in regards to what we are looking for, Rules, boundaries and the such... So there is NEVER any mis-conception as to where we are coming from.

Well, These couples will agree with all that we have said and claim they are looking for the same things, Yet when we move to the bedroom... We get the old bait and switch routine...:(

All of a sudden it is all driven by the "girls" and the interest that was shown in my husband is now very much lacking!!

Either they will try to freeze my husband out/or they will put forth very minimal effort... In a word... A mercey fuck, who the hell wants that??

It does not matter how we try to switch things up to avoid this, We seem to end up with the same results... That being, to stop everything... We will not be taken advantage of!!

We have been in the lifestyle almost 8 years, So we are not nieve to the foolishness that runs rampant... I guess we are just wondering why it is sooo hard to get honesty and respect from others... We give it out and would only expect to get the same in return.

So, I guess my question comes down to... If we are going about everything the right way, How is it we keep getting the wrong results...:(



Dear (Anonymous),

Hmm, I just gave some advice about this, but this is a valid "loophole" to address.

So you're stating your preference outright and being upfront and frank about your style of bedroom play, and they are still duping you, eh?

Not cool.

Go back and reread what you wrote to me. Now, I want you to keep that explanation in your head the next time you get into a potential play situation with a couple.

Tell them what you told me. Tell them that you're a full swap couple, tell them about the situations you explained to me and say something like this "Can you beleive that even when we've told other people this, that they still try to pull the 'ol bait and switch and do this to us?"

Make these stories part of your conversation with them before you hop in bed. See how they react and what they say to these heinous tales of treachery :)

This way, if they know that you've been there before and know the routine, they're less likely to pull a fast one on you.
If you do this, they'll know you're no fools and any attempt to trick you will be pointless. If after that, they still attempt to do that, they certainly have some giant balls.
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