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Question: Condoms were laid out by both of us, but he barebacked her anyways

Dear Lounge Advice,

We are a full swap couple and have been in the LS for 10 years now and we use condoms with all our playmates.

We were recently playing with a couple and we ran into an issue. They had a huge family pack of condoms on the table and we had our own condoms also. All indications pointed to that fact that they were on the same page as us when it came to condom use. We never spoke about it one way or another.

Anyway, the male half of the couple and my wife where going at it. He was being very aggressive and dominant. Abruptly he pinned her down and began fucking her (not against her will of course). After about 10 minutes he asked her if he could cum in her...WHAT? She was not aware that he did not put a condom on. She did not know what to do. Plus, she was afraid of what I would do if I found out.

We have never had the male half of a couple do that before. We have had them ask, but never just do it. What should she or I have done in that situation?

I have had the female half of a couple try to slide my cock in bareback while she was on top of me during foreplay, but I just rolled her over and continued our foreplay...without making a scene.

She feels violated that some guy would have the nerve to just stick his cock in bareback without asking her first.

They are definitely on our DNF list.



Dear (Anonymous),

The problem here is that everyone 'assumed'.

Yes, the evidence was there, but the assertions were not verbally established. Unless you tell someone, "We require condoms", then no boundaries are technically violated.
Yes, he may have used this technicality to go bareback with her, but the fault is not all on him. The fault, in this case, was shared, no matter how crappy it seems. And yes, I would have been pissed in this situation as well, but I couldn't, with good conscious, lay 100% of the blame on him. Maybe 98% ;)

In the future, *always* make sure that you say "Condoms or no lovin'".

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