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Question: Neighborly Curious

Dear Lounge Advice,

Question first, then the story... should we attempt to ask our neighbors (that we strongly believe are in the LS) if they're into the LS with the risk of "outing" ourselves. Or should we just leave this alone and enjoy a giggle knowing something they don't?

...and if we ask them, how should we go about it so as not to embarrass them or to minimize outing ourselves if we're wrong???

Back story...

Ever since our neighbors moved in about 2 years ago we've been wondering if they're part of the LS. In conversations with both of them they seem to be dropping VERY subtle hints like being playful by grabbing each other's asses, dropping words like "swap" (vs "switch"), talking about running from their hot tub naked (yep, they own a hot tub too) and the list goes on.

We've also noted random cars parked at their house and those cars seem to leave around the 2am-4am time frames. Also, when those cars are there it seems their kids are gone and the lights are nicely dimmed. We've also seen the hot tub up and running in the 2am time range with those random cars still parked and then come 4am, the cars are gone and the hot tub turned off.

(OK, it sounds like we're stalking them now... but our Mr. works nights so he's up taking trash out or grabbing a tool from our work shed at very random times at night.)

We know all this alone could all be written off, but we also found a single male's ID on LL that matches their MR's physical appearance, old town (before the move) and same "likes, dislikes" and even his birth sign! This user ID also matches letter for letter his current email address (minus the @place.com). Lastly, that single male ID hasn't been active since about the time they became a couple.

Finally, both were married to others before meeting (and lived across state so a chance meeting would have been very limited) and have since divorced and now live with each other.

With all this said, we haven't been able to find a "couples" or "single female" profile on LL that matches them currently.

We find them cute and would certainly be open to a play date with them, but of course that's not required. Even if we never play and just remain friends, it would be nice to have someone else in the neighborhood that "has our back" so to speak so that they could curb rumors like "they sure do have a lot of random cars in their driveway". Of course we'd be able to deflect rumors for them too.

Any advice?? We really want to ask, but are held back by the risks of being wrong.



Dear (Anonymous),


If they want to come out to you about it, then let them.

But, if all of your hunches somehow prove to be wrong, then you've placed yourself in a very awkward situation.

IF they do divulge that they are indeed lifestylers, do NOT play with them. I've seen and experienced firsthand situations that seem great like yours at first. But then, something you never expected to happen, happens.

Your home is there. You live there. Your whole life is there.

Right next door to them.

If something awkward happends, or the playtime goes in the wrong direction, are you going to ignore them? Are you going to move away? Are you just going to awkwardly pretend that nothing ever transpired?

Don't soil your own nest by doing anything with them. You may think "Nah, nothing bad is ever going to happen between all of us because everything is so cool right now". You can't be shortsighted about this. Consider the longterm repurcussions, even if you can't imagine anything bad ever happening.

Keep it at the level it's at right now and don't make the first move in this game.

Plans rarely survive contact with reality.
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