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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
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Lifestyle Etiquette
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Relationship Advice
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Friendships, Clubs & More...
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Question: Best way to meet single women

Dear Lounge Advice,
I feel I'm a attractive man. I do understand this site is for couples. What is the best way to meet with single women on here? I don't want to be single for long.



Dear (Anonymous),

Single ladies in the lifestyle are few, and are very sought after. So, this means that you have to 'stick out' among all of the ladies' suitors.
How? Read on.

First and foremost, there is a reason for the phrase single gentleman. Anyone can be a single male. It takes the extraordinary male to be a gentleman. In a world sought after by so many single males, one must aspire to be a gentleman to beat the odds. Simply put, men are a dime a dozen. Gentlemen are priceless, and the skills that accompany this type of atypical male are ones that will win over many a couple seeking you out. Some single males operate under the false assumption that all couples desire a single male to join them. This couldn’t be farther from the truth, as the majority of swingers do not wish to entertain this particular situation. The majority of couples are seeking other couples or that elusive single female.
Since the supply of single men far outweighs the actual demand, it is necessary to go the extra mile when attracting an interested single lady.
There are certain unofficial rules of etiquette and conduct for single males both on websites and out on ‘dates’. The ones that understand and practice the unspoken etiquette have a far better chance of achieving what they desire. There are many men who seem never to ‘get it’, therefore, they don’t ‘get any’.
To begin with, you should have a well-developed profile. This goes for both couples and singles, but for a male, it is especially crucial to your quest. Your pictures should reflect who you are.
The best way to proceed to is be honest, respectful and unassuming. If you get onto a site and expect nothing but threesomes every weekend, you’ll find yourself sorely disappointed. The same goes for attending functions. Your expectations can sometimes determine your actions. If your expectations are too unrealistic, your actions will sometimes betray your desires and manifest in an unsavory manner. Your actions can be the determining factor for your success. The best way to approach the lifestyle is by not expecting anything at all. The gentlemen who get onto a website or go to a function expecting only to have a good time and meet new friends will give off a more positive vibe. Some of the most popular men on swingers’ sites are merely there participating in the forums or chat, and don’t even contact anyone. Get involved in the chat room and the forums and remember to mind your manners. The more you advertise yourself, and show everyone that you're a gentleman, they more likely you are to get approached. Singles, and couple for that matter, allow themselves to be noticed via their personality, wit and no-pressure attitudes. It is usually these kinds of people that are kept ‘busy’ more than anyone else, because of their approach and general attitude. If you become popular, it won’t be necessary for you to contact couples. They will undoubtedly seek you out and contact you.
On a personal note, I met my significant other in this lifestyle when he was a single male, but I approached him first. He never made the first move when it came to couples, and always proved himself to be nothing but a respectful gentleman. The time and effort he put into his profile and his forum/chat participation quickly garnered him attention from couples. I was so impressed by his manners and how different he was from the typical male, that I wanted him around me as much as possible. He conducted himself in a gentlemanly manner, and made intelligent conversation with members. He didn't try to get in anyone's pants. He instead carried himself as the educated, eloquent and mannerly man that he was, and still is. He never made the first move, and was always modest. He participated in chat and forums without constantly hitting on women. The fact that he did this put the greatest point forth- that he was a respectful gentleman.
People saw that because he wasn't out to 'get laid', so that was the one thing that got him more offers than almost any other single males on the site, AND what attracted me to him.
Please prepare to be realistic. It is not a matter of a few days until you can achieve your goal. The key for everyone is to have patience. For single males, earning the trust of other members in the lifestyle community can take months. If you are patient, this will pay off for you. It is well worth the wait. Just as word spreads quickly if you act like a pig, word will also spread like wildfire if you are the type of gentlemen single ladies seek. It all comes down to a matter of class versus crass. Our lifestyle is largely based on having friends with ‘benefits’. Be a friend, and the rest will come.

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