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Question: Pickle God

Dear Lounge Advice,

I have been having a reoccurring dream about the advise column lady and was wondering what you think.

In the dream I am standing on top of a golden pyramid in a sun god outfit, with the flowing robes and all. You are standing their leading a thousand other naked women who are all climbing the pyramid and throwing tiny sweet pickles at me.

So........watcha think?

Mr. SUGARONMYTONGUE

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Dear Helios,

The tiny sweet pickles are obviously a metaphor for your penis.

May I recommend just having it cut off to end your suffering? If your penis is green, that's probably a bad sign anyways.


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