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Question: Pickle God

Dear Lounge Advice,

I have been having a reoccurring dream about the advise column lady and was wondering what you think.

In the dream I am standing on top of a golden pyramid in a sun god outfit, with the flowing robes and all. You are standing their leading a thousand other naked women who are all climbing the pyramid and throwing tiny sweet pickles at me.

So........watcha think?




Dear (Anonymous),

Dear Helios,

The tiny sweet pickles are obviously a metaphor for your penis.

May I recommend just having it cut off to end your suffering? If your penis is green, that's probably a bad sign anyways.

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