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Question: What is your advice for avoiding awkward situations when you aren't interested in a couple?

Dear Lounge Advice,
My husband and I are very new to this. However, we have enjoyed the experiences that we have had. We have some difficulty in social situations (like Hedo) where people mistake being friendly for wanting to play. We consider ourselves an relatively attractive couple (doesn't everyone??) and are pretty picky and, therefore, we do not meet alot of couples that we are both attracted to. But I, more than my husband I think, find myself avoiding the big crowds in the pool or something like that because I don't want certain couples to get the wrong message. I am very friendly and hate to hurt peoples feelings, but I think I missing out on alot of socializing because I don't want to have to tell someone something they don't want to hear or feel like I have to avoid them. Hope you understand what I am trying to say here!



Dear (Anonymous),

Guys, this is one of those difficult questions to answer as you are gonna have to just take our word for what we are gonna say... and then see for yourselves that its true.

We all give off different vibes that you can easily feel if you are looking for it. What we are saying is that there is a different feeling you get from people that are only being friendly vs. one that you get when another couple is interested in "more."

Again its hard to explain... but you will see. People will know if you are not intersted in playing so dont worry so much.

You will not find a more picky couple than us... but we still love to socialize and have many many many friends whom we have never and never will be physical with due to attraction/chemistry... but we are still great friends.

A lot of the "feeling" also comes from non-verbal stuff... perhaps a brush by is just that... whereas if you or they were interested.. they would return the touch... its just the kind of thing that you know.

We may meet a couple that we are interested in... and if they are not.. they never have to say anything... we just know.... as will the other people you socialize with...

Again its a hard question to answer without giving concrete examples... but we can tell you without reservations that you dont have to worry about hurting anyone... we are all big boys and girls.
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