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Question: Can you give me advice on how to get my wife to participate in more lifestyle functions?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife and I have recently joined Lifestylelounge, she has a bi-female friend and enjoys spending time with her. Her friend is not a lifestylelounge member and chooses to remain so. The two are pretty exclusive in their relationship.

When I do try to get my wife to go to some functions (even if at a local bar or dance club), she comes up with excuses not to make it. She does travel a bit but even when in town, she'll already have something else planned. This tends to leave me pretty much a single male going to social functions, even though we are signed up as a couple.

Is there any advice you can give me to encourage her to participate meeting other members (even in a vanilla setting) so she can see how great the lifestylemembers are? I've met a few in "vanilla social" activities and the members are great people!

I like the members and unless my wife particpates I feel I may have to leave lifestylelounge. Any suggestions?

Anonymous

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

The first thing that we don't know is that when she is with her girlfriend.. does she include you?

It sounds like she is just very comfortable with the other woman and if she includes you and you are happy with that... don't complain much as there are hundreds of memebers here who would probably change places with you in a NY minute.

Here are a couple of suggestions...

Firstly... why not try to explain to her that you are not asking her to give up her girlfriend or even to do anything with anyone else... but that you would like to broaden your social lives a bit and just plain tell her if its getting boring for you...

You have to communicate that in a manner that is not threatening to her relationship with her friend.

We know that single bi fems are not easy to come by... but getting involved with one person can possibly be just as dangerous as getting too involved with another couple. Especially when one of you is feeling left out.

Sounds like you need to spend some time with her alone in a social setting and explaining that to her in a non-threatening way is the best plan.

Let us know how you do !
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