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Question: Hall Pass Etiquette

Dear Lounge Advice,

What is proper Hall Pass etiquette when approaching a couple who has a hall pass listed?



Dear (Anonymous),

The Hall Pass is for swinging couples that allow each other to play alone. If you encounter someone who has a Hall Pass listed in their profile, then it's likely that one of them has permission to play as a single. Before jumping into communication with this couple, there are a few things to consider that will allow you to be more successful in your approach.

Donít Assume
Just because someone has a Hall Pass, donít automatically assume that itís the female. Regardless of your interests, it is always best to read the profile. Couples will usually state in the text which partner(s) has permission to play alone. Be sure to ask which member of the couple this applies to if it's not stated in the profile. Also, do not assume that if one of them has a hall pass, that they are indiscriminate. Permission to play alone does not equate to an automatic Ďiní for just anybody.

Do Not Disrespect a Coupleís Status

Despite the coupleís arrangements to allow each other to play alone, they are still a couple. Go out of your way to speak with both members of the pair and not just the one with whom you wish to play. Both deserve to receive your respect. Not only is this an example of good manners and lifestyle etiquette, but it may afford you more long-term opportunities for relations with the Hall Pass individual if you stay in the good graces of both people. Your reputation will follow you; word of mouth is prevalent in swinging communities.

Before, During and After
If you are fortunate enough to earn a role in an individualís Hall Pass fantasies, use your manners and common sense. Being a lady or a gentleman only to get into bed with someone only gets you so far. While you are with him/her, be sure to make the experience fun and comfortable. Ask before attempting something questionable and try to please them in the best way possible. Hit and runs are not acceptable, and as mentioned before, your reputation will precede you.
After the experience, be sure to go the extra mile and extend your thanks to that personís partner for allowing you to be with the Hall Pass individual. This is an added touch of courtesy that will impress anyone. It may also keep you in the running for future encounters. However, do not expect a repeat. This is entirely up to them.

No Strings Attached Please

Remember, this is only about sexual adventure. Hall Pass doesnít equate to Free Pass. This person has a partner. You are not there to trump or demean their relationship with their significant other. Any attempts to Ďoutdoí or outshine their partner should be avoided. Be humble and remember that you are NOT there to make an emotional connection or steal away another personís spouse. If this person speaks poorly of their partner in any way, avoid taking sides. Trying to become an ally in a problematic relationship places you right in the middle. More often than not, the other person will find out that you are being sympathetic and may lash out at you. The relationship and any problems involved are between them. Do not involve yourself.
Humility, manners and a non-assuming attitude are three key ingredients to your success with Hall Pass couples. Practice these, and you will be pleased with the outcome.

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