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Question: Will the lifestyle

Dear Lounge Advice,

I have read many times here that couples are looking for some experiences to "spice up" their relationships, my question is, if we have a good relationship does this kind of experiences add some spice to our sex life which, by the way, has lost a lot of its pasion?

We have been married for 12 years and in the last year have had some soft swap experiences and enjoyed them very much, we do not want to go full swap, at least for now; and those times did not affect our relationship, on the contrary, after being with the other couple our sex was magnificent. That happened in Jamaica, on vacation, that's why I would like to know from your experience if it usually is like this with other couples.

My wife had a bi-sexual experience that time, it was here first and she enjoyed it very much, next day she said that she felt good and had not minded doing it.

Does this kind of fun means we are looking for more intense experiences and eventually we will have to go further to enjoy what we are doing, or it usually depends on each circumstance?

Maybe my douts are obvious and dumb but your attitude towards begginers like us made feel comfortable asking you.

Thanks for your advice,
Couple from Braco

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

It sounds like you guys are doing all the right things... go at your own pace and enjoy what you are experiencing together... as a couple.

As far as full swap is concerned that is a very personal decision... for us it too many years until we were comfortable enough with the idea to feel that it was not a threat to either of us.

Even so right now we are fine either way... and we like to play with others.. but its just that for us... play... and then we enjoy most being with each other afterwards... it definately spices us up.

There is no progression and certainly no timetable for when and if you ever go on to full swap. We know many couples that just stay soft swap. Its all up to you guys and what level of comfort you have.

After some time you will see that you will understand and feel your way into what you are comfortable with in the Lifestyle. You may wish to experiment more over time.. and then again you may not. We are not the ones who will tell you what to do... you will tell each other.

For now.. the best advice for you too is to continue to have fun... and reignite the fires of passion that obviously never died out.... just simmered into coals.
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