Home   New Mail!  Contacts  Who's Online  Friends  Search  Advice  Forum  Blogs  Groups  Mall  Chat  My Account  Clubs  Travel  Login  
  18 members in chat58 in bOOty Call
 
Lifestyle Sexual Advice
Play Bi Play
New(bie) Adventures
more sexual advice advice
Lifestyle Etiquette
Honesty vs. Vague Truths
Calling All Unicorns
more etiquette advice
Relationship Advice
To Swing or Not to Swing...
Please Communicate Desires
more relationship advice
Friendships, Clubs & More...
Blocking
Sending IMs
more friendship advice
  
Question: Single females- how are they perceived?

Dear Lounge Advice,

I'm struggling as a single girl here. I recently went through an "incident" with a couple, and now I'm finding myself floundering a bit.

How do most couples view single females here? I sense a love/hate thing...

I read how much single girls are desired, but my reality says otherwise.

Can you tell me how couples really feel about single women?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

I can't 'average' the feelings of the general couples' population when it comes to views on single women. It varies from person to person, so it wouldn't do the issue any justice to put a blanket statement on couples' stances.

For example, if my husband and I were to project our feelings about single women on the general population, it was be biased and inaccurate. We have had more negative experiences than positive in the past. Thus, we are warier than the most.
But, other couples have had overwhelmingly positive experiences with single females. So, it really comes down to the couple. Their experiences shape their perceptions.

Yes, single women are desired, hence your moniker: Unicorns.

But, just like anyone else we get involved with here in this LS, most of us don't like strings attached or issues. If things get too complicated, then issues tend to arise.

Are you simply in this LS to fulfill your fantasies? Do you wish to become more than just a playmate with a couple? Are you involving yourself with secure couples? Are you conducting yourself like a lady? (this includes not getting drunk/dramatic/overly attached during your repeated encounters).

Are you staying neutral when it comes to their personal issues, or are you taking sides?

You see, you need to pay special attention to a couple's inner dynamics. If one of them doesn't seem completely secure with letting a single into their bed, stay away. If they seem to have internal issues other than this, you are NOT to get involved, unless you wish to be drawn into the drama, and thus be an integral part of making their issues more complicated.

Here are the problems I have encountered in the past with single women (and I have had many over 10+ years)
1) Women getting cocky and over-entitled attitudes because they are the highly sought-after 'unicorn'. I've seen single women expect to be catered to, have everyything paid for and other such 'princess' behaviors.
2) I have had women try to compete with me to be number one in the eyes of my partner. No, I'm not kidding. You just do NOT mess with a couple's relationship.
3) Single females becoming overly needy- asking for intervention in their private dating lives, asking to borrow money, etc.
4) Alcoholics or drug-abusers who have obvious issues that do not need to be injected in a couple's life.

For singles in general (male AND female) knowing your place, staying out of a couple's personal affairs/backing away at the right time, and staying humble and non-assuming are the best ways to approach the lifestyle.

How do we feel about single women? It depends on who you ask, and it depends on who you are.

So, if you're not guilty of any of the negative behaviors associated with certain single women, then don't worry yourself about what others think. Just go on being wonderful and prove common conceptions to be wrong when applicable to you.
If you feel in your heart than you need to work on your conduct, then knowing is half the battle. Self-reflect and act accordingly ;)
Click here to view Lounge Advice archives
100's of answers to your lifestyle questions can be found here!