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Question: Fruit Fetish
Dear Lounge Advice,
I have been masturbating with fresh fruit as of late. I find it to be totally erotic and juicy, just like a real vagina.
I particularly like to drill holes in oranges and peaches to insert my penis into.
One of these days I want to put a summer squash in my butt.
Am I weird?
Fond of Fruit
Oranges and peaches? Wow, you should be more worried about the size of your "fruit" instead of your choice of fruit. At least your kumquats smell good I suppose.
You must be the type who compares your penis size to buffalo wings to make yourself look bigger. Just guessin'.
Try a pineapple next-anally. If you enjoy that, then yes, you're weird.
Let me know when you're ready for the big leagues. I have some great advice about watermelon insertion and some GREAT baking recipes for the seads.
Until then, enjoy your tossed (fruit) salad.
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