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Question: How should I get my wife interested in this?

Dear Lounge Advice,

been on the site for a short while, love the beautiful people that I have found. My wife looks at the site with me but does not have the amount of desire that I have to give it a try - afraid.

I think she will have a great time if we can kinda get our feet wet very slowly. What do you suggest about the easy way to get started. A party, meet just one couple, ??? need ideas. She does not really have or least does not tell me that she has in bi interest which can present a problem when meeting other couples - that is my second problem.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

If she shows interest, great, but take it very slowly. You can't expect her to go from posting an ad to meeting a couple for full swap. Ask her if she would like to go to a club just to watch sometime, and take small steps from there accordingly.
As excited as you may be about swinging, it is best to step back and ascertain the best way for you both to enter the lifestyle comfortably. Your partner may require extensive time and exposure to feel at ease with this idea. Remember that many people hold misconceptions about the lifestyle and may need this time and experience to help clear up misunderstandings.
If you both do consider taking it further than online exploration, try attending a pressure-free event, such as a meet and greet, and make it clear that neither one of you is expected to do anything at all. This way, your experience will be much less intimidating and she will be more inclined to explore further.
If all goes well the first time them have her decide which event she might like to try the next time.

Your partner may warm up to the lifestyle a bit more if she enjoys the parties and the company and realizes that the stereotypes surrounding the lifestyle are often false and contrived. Attending lifestyle events serves many purposes for first-timers, or those who are otherwise timid of the initial experience. As a rule, she will be able to see firsthand the wonderful people that are involved in this, and understand that lifestylers are not depraved sexual predators, nor are they devoid of morals or couth.

Don't worry so much about her not being interested in other women. There are plenty of couples, even with bi-women, that do not need to have girl-girl play involved. This should be the least of your concerns.

Remember above all else, if this lifestyle seems to become a constant interest to you, she may question your motives. Women are delicate creatures, and tend to question men's motives. Don't ever lead her to believe that you are in this just to play with other women. Remember to always make her feel that she is the top priority- and mean it.

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