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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
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Lifestyle Etiquette
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Question: De-friending

Dear Lounge Advice,

Mr. and I de-friended someone on here because frankly, I (the Mrs.) didn't trust her from the first sight of her profile. He had 'friended' her on our profile because they had chatted back and forth via IM as well as in the chatroom. I had and do not have any issue with his chatting with anyone, regardless of their profile. However when I was looking through some of the friend profiles on our account, I just didn't feel right about her. That woman's intuition that she wasn't to be trusted to not try to persue my Mr. beyond casual sex. I didn't say anything and brushed it off.

A couple days ago, Mr. and I met up with a few other LL-ers at a bar for some live music and one of the other ladies and I got into conversation about other members and our involvement in the lifestyle, etc. I said that the only issue that is continuing for me, is playing with the single females (Unicorns) vs. couples. My only concern is they will try to persue Mr. beyond sex, behind my back. I told her of the member I mentioned above and she said my instincts were correct on that member. She said she cannot be trusted and has been known to wreck many relationships and even a marriage (possibly more) with her manipulation and pursuit of the Mr. of the couple. She hasn't fallen victim of this but knows of other members who have. She's never played with this other member and only knows of the couples that were affected and their stories of her "doings" are all similar. I let Mr. know about the conversation, and he told me she had put us (most likely over him) on her 'wish list' and friended us, he didn't friend her himself. He felt my concerns were legitimate too, and agreed to distance himself.

So when we got home, I de-friended her right away. My question is if this person asks why we de-friended her, how do you let her know why (telling the truth only), if the question is ever asked?

Surely she would deny any wrongdoing, and I certainly would like to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I also don't want to brush off my gut feelings that she isn't to be trusted.




Dear (Anonymous),

She probably won't even notice, and if she asks you this question, she is quite bold.

I'd just respond, "nothin' personal" and leave it at that with here. Be polite, of course, but be succint.
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